January 2012

My grandmother was taken away from me last January 08, 2012.

It was heartbreaking because we were very close. I guess I was much closer to her than to my mom. She was hospitalized for more than a month then, went to our home so we could take better care of her. Or maybe just to enjoy the last remaining weeks with her. She went on peacefully, but I was not there...I wish I was there. I never got a chance to say how much I love her...how much she really means to me. It was because I was clinging to hope that she'll get better tomorrow or the next day, or the day after that. Damn tomorrow how I wish there was never a next day, so I will just have today that day when I held her hand...

I am missing her so much, up until now. Her loud laugh, her sarcastic laugh definitely which fills up the house. And every time that I see her favorite chair, I'm imagining that she is still there...but as the image I planted on my head slowly fades away and realizes she's not there, she's really gone.
I am grateful God took her in a way. He relieved her of whatever pain she was feeling, from her suffering. I am thankful that God gave me 26 years to be with my grandmother...Thank You.

I had many dreams for you that I have not fulfilled, and I still remember our last conversation together.
That was when I came home from Ortigas, decided to drop by your house since your house is nearer.
I dropped my paper bags which I have collected from the office. You laughed because there were a lot. Then you were suppose to give them to your sisters since they own a store and could use them. And then I jokingly asked, "Ima, angga kang kapilan? Dapat malwat kapa kalupa ng Apung Amon." which basically means (When are you going to die? It should be longer like Apung Amon.) You only replied, "Ha!" with your sarcastic laugh. It was because I wanted you to receive some gifts that I will be able to give when I go to the States, those little things that I know will make you smile the least...

Goodbye Ima, we will surely miss you! We love you! We will always give you a call...